I perceive myself as a very strong person. My friends and family see me as such. They have lauded me on how I’ve managed to overcome the series of recent hurdles and challenges in my life – plight of my favorite sibling to a distant land, demise of very close beloved, and even in the acceptance and coping with my illness. With what I have gone through, I thought I will be able to withstand any other things in my life that would befall others. But no. I have finally recognized my weakness. My Achille’s heel — Love.
I thought I’d be okay in no time after the break-up, but no. I’ve been breaking down, losing hope. My life has broken in tiny fragments that even I don’t know how to pull things back again together. I’ve set deep in my mind, and deep in my soul that he is the person that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. The person who will accept me, understand me, and care for me whatever happens. But I’ve lost him. I’m losing my insanity. I’m losing myself. I’ve lost everything.
I might as well fold up. Give up.
hi ,i was diagnosed a week ago, i was healthy and never got any disease, i am very particular with my health and shape. i have a healthy lifestyle and i used to go to the gym. Masaya at tahimik ang buhay ko. yearly i am taking hiv test and fortunate naman i am always clear then all of a sudden this year 2012, changed my life. i found out that i am positive. i got it when i joined a partee, and first time ever i tried slam ice (drugs with needles) i got the disease from there. nasa stage ako ngayon na diko alam ano ang halaga ng buhay ko. paano gigising sa umaga at paano makakatulog ng maayos sa gabi. no one knows in the family about my situation nor my friends. dahil alamko di nila mauunawaan at alamko itatakwil nila ako. Mag isa lng ako ngayon na sinisikap harapin ang burden nato. i was browsing the net ng makita ko accidentalty ang blog mo, alamo kung may isa sa mga taong mas unfortunate sayo, ako na yun, ive resigned from work na alamko eventually mawawala rin sakin, tulad mo nawqala narin ang mga pangarap ko.. iniwa rin ako ng minamahal ko at ang masakit galing ako sa pamilyang walang wala rin sa buhay. Di ko alam saan ako magsisimula, saan huhugot ng lakas at saan ako tatayo. di ko alam kung saan at gaano ang itatagal ng buhay ko, kahit ganunpaman i still want to smile at ienjoy ang buhay. Madalas mag isa lang ako, tinititigan ang langit at pinagmamasdan ang ganda ng ulap..narerelax ako. kapag nakaramdam ako ng takot ,lungkot at paghihirap what i always do is to take a big breathe, tapos ipinipikit kolng ang mga mata ko at nagdarasal ako ng mataimtim. Despite sa struggles at burdens na pinapasan natin maganda parin ang buhay. 🙂
kaibigan, sa dami ng paghihirap ko, Ngayon palang nagsisimula ang laban ko. – The Green Lantedrn 28
– The Green Lantern 28
By reading this blog, i realized that im not alone in this world. Although im still in the sate of denial that the world will still be fair and happy to lived in. I am looking forward of meeting people with the same situation coz i know they can understand me and i can learn a lot of things from them
dumbledoresarmy26@gmail.com
The green lantern..you have philhealth? Take retro viral drug therapy
Hi, Ken and The Green Lantern 28.
After reading your comments, haaay nkarelate talaga ako. My story is I am a regular donor in Red cross (type AB – dugong bughaw daw) hehe, kaya im happy na nkakatulong ako. But, september 2010, red cross send me this letter May 2011, and they want to talk to me about the september blood batch. So, ayun n nga the doctor tells me that I am Positive, “Posit” – other term hehe. Nagulat ako, and lahat ng ex bf ko mga inisip ko agad, kung kninu at kung cnu. Unfortunately, walang umamin sa 2 ex ko na tinanungan ko.
Right now, ako lang may alam and the hub im into. Also during check – ups, cd4 test, i gain friends sa Hub in RITM alabang. Now, may mga nkakausap ako, and sana mameet ko din kayo para may nkikinig sa atin kpag ngoopen tau ng mga “posit things”.
Thats it!, wag kayo mawalan ng pag-asa, be happy always. Pcheck up lage, take ARV meds if meron na kau. Maganda if may work kayo, kasi free ang meds sa mga Hiv Hubs kapag may phil health.
Share ko din, last monday, Feb 13, I got my second CD4 test, from July 2011 it is 505 and now the result is 375 😦 dramatic decrease due to alcohol, yosi, diet and no proper exercise. Kaya After that day, i’ve decided na to remove 100% those bad things for my health and start a healthy lifestyle. Trust me, tataas ang cd4 nyo if you are taking Multivitamins + Vitamin C then eat lots of fruits and veggies with exercise. Bawal din an Puyat ok?.
Take care guys and always be Strong. HIndi ka nag-iisa. Alam mo yan.
– Jake
Nice, me got my cd4 count 9 too bad however I need to accept it and be strong.. Hope to know u guys.. E-mail me iampositive27@yahoo.com
Di ba red cross will notify within two (2) weeks from the date you donated blood?how come it took for (8) months bago sila nag-inform of your condition?
Not sure about red cross..
Dont give up just keep the faith. God can change all things.Let Go And Let God
I feel u.
Poz too. May God bless us all.amin.